


fly in the ointment

by gemstonedragons



Series: get back up if you go down [1]
Category: Choice of Games, Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Canon Typical Content Warnings, Discussion of Mental Health, Fallen Hero: Retribution Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trans Male Character, so far i only tag characters who are actively speaking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:48:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23860063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemstonedragons/pseuds/gemstonedragons
Summary: a phrase meaning: a minor irritation, a small flaw, a drawback, especially one that was not at first apparent,that spoils the whole
Relationships: Ortega/Sidestep (Fallen Hero)
Series: get back up if you go down [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721770
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	1. cold coffee

Chen isn't the one who brings it up first, surprisingly. It's Angie who ambushes him in the break room, dropping a bag of takeout on the table. 

"How long has Jules been afraid of heights?" She asks. His gaze drops to the chipped coffee mug in his hand, the one he's been hiding, the one that reads _Sidestep's Sidekick._ They don't make this mug anymore- and Themmy had given it to him, back then.

"Wh-"

"Daniel got a black eye for flying him up onto a roof without warning and he asked if I'd look into it."

"That's what that was from? I thought he meant actual training, when he said it was from training."

"He got spooked." Argent says, like it's simple, like throwing a punch at Danny was _reasonable._ Ortega watches her drop into a chair, yanking open the bag, pulling out a container of chow mein.

"Jules isn't afraid of heights-" he says, pausing as she glares at him. "He _wasn't_ afraid of heights," he corrects, "back in the day. Or of flying. Sentinel used to pick him up all the time. It wasn't ever a problem- he never threw punches before."

"It's from whatever happened to make him quit, isn't it?" She asks, voice low, neutral but not gentle, not soft, because Argent isn't soft, and he's _Charge_ , he doesn't need soft-handling, doesn't need caution.

The Heartbreak Incident- and Jules--

_\---and screaming starts behind him, on a landing below, and then Sidestep runs past them, darts around Steel and his armor, not pausing, no sign of Anathema, no sign of why he's screaming- and then the thing gets to Steel, and Charge's stopped, because whatever happens Sidestep can handle himself- and then he goes through the window, glass everywhere -- and then and then and--_

He sets down his mug before he can drop it. "Could be." He says, keeping his voice level, smoothing his hands out against the faux-wood plastic of the tabletop. "I haven't asked, and well- we don't go hanging out on rooftops anyway."

Angie chews silently, liquid mercury eyes staring back at him. Then, "He didn't tell Daniel what the deal was- Danny asked me because Jules worries him."

He almost laughs at that. "Jules does that, yeah." Always making people worry over him. He tries to come off as a lone wolf, but he's more of a stray cat-

 _\--and you worry about stray cats, worry if they're gonna come back, worry if you've scared them away, if they're safe and warm and_ \--

Angie stands up, then, shoveling her noodles into her mouth, eating with all the table manners of either a teenage boy or a seagull. "Nice mug." She says, grabbing her takeout, the silver river of her hair whipping like a flag behind her as she leaves.

"Thanks," he says, to the empty room. His coffee's gone cold.

.

Chen doesn't bring up Jules' new fears at all, actually. He moves the table in the break room away from the window, pulls a fake potted tree from the hall in to fill the empty space, to block the window. Ricardo assumes it was Chen who did it, anyway, because Danny's just as startled by the change as he is, and Angie wouldn't bother with something like that. 

It's like the new shelf in the fridge. Chen never says anything, and Ortega never mentions it. He didn't label a shelf for Jules, because that's too much, too fast, coming from him. But if Chen did, well. Maybe it'll start to convince Jules that he _is_ welcome at their HQ, no matter how much he thinks he isn't. Ortega knows that Chen missed the younger man too, while he was gone, while they thought Jules was dead. The question is whether Jules realizes that.


	2. tofu or bacon or tofu bacon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Compromise: (noun) an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
> 
> (...that only works if each side is putting their work in...)

They're not at Hoot's, because Jules' still skittish about spending too much time around other heroes- even retired ones, even if it's just a retired hero's bar. -- _Even if it's a bar they used to go to, way back when. Especially if it's a bar they used to go to, back then._ \-- Ric's trying not to ask about it, trying to be respectful of his boundaries, because Jules is already doing so much more than he wanted to. Ricardo knows that he's training Herald, coping with Danny's crush by steadfastly ignoring it. Jules' still seeing the psychiatrist, marching out of her office with his shoulders around his ears and crumpled tissues in his fists. The _least_ he can do is let Jules pick the diner they go to after therapy. 

"Is the food any good here?" He asks, following him to a booth. Jules shrugs as he drops onto the vinyl seat, his back to the door, shoulders drooping as he settles. Ricardo slides into the seat across from him.

"It's a diner, Ric, not a catered gala." Jules scoffs, as if Ortega doesn't know that he loves cheap diner coffee and burnt toast. He also knows Jules would sooner punch him than admit that he liked anything, though.

"Catered doesn't mean good." He counters, flipping open his menu.

Jules has opened his own, but his eyes have dulled, gone a little unfocused, the way they do when he's intentionally using his telepathy. Who is he watching?

- _Jules cross-eyed as he comes out of the - the trance- the telepathic connection with Angie, nearly falling out of his seat, Angie already on her feet, talking.-_

"I wouldn't know," Jules says, coming back to himself. "Don't order the tofu bacon- they don't have the good kind here." 

Ricardo has to hide a smile behind the plastic menu, chest gone warm and tight, even as he wonders at this blatant use of his power in public. That _never_ would have happened before. Not so obviously. 

_(“_ **_I use it to get an edge in a fight,_ ** _”he’d said, so long ago, moving his rook across the plastic chessboard, “_ **_I’m not as quick as some of you, I need warning to know what I’m dodging._ ** _”_

_Chen sighs, moving one of his knights in response. Ricardo remembers watching as Anathema throws the deck of cards from their game of go-fish, a grin spreading across their face when Jules catches it from the air, never once looking up from the chess board. Ricardo laughs at the smug little smirk on Jules' face.)_

_-_

_(And later, when Ric had found him again._ _“_ **_It mostly keeps me from getting jostled in a crowd, these days._ ** _”he’d said, practically begging for time, face pale and exhausted, standing in front of Argent and Steel and Herald, nervous hands tucked into his pockets. “_ **_My telepathy isn’t that strong, isn’t alpha level. It takes time._ ** _”)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think at some point, Malin implied that people don't eat as much red meat and/or real meat in the FH 'verse as we do. if not, then I've decided that that is the case.


	3. Singin' In The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flight or Fight: phrase refering to the instinctive physiological response to a threatening situation, which readies one either to resist forcibly or to run away.

Jules still watches movies with just a bit too much attention, like he's preparing to be tested on it. Back then- back before- it had been endearing, sort of. Sidestep's one quirk- well no, that's not true either. But it had been something that was personal, just about him, whoever he was, under the mask. Something no one else knew.

Ricardo stretches, watching him. Watches the way he slouches forward, toward the screen, limbs folded up, still afraid to take up much space.  _Always worried about taking up space, about drawing attention to himself._ Ortega used to think it was part of maintaining anonymity, back then. Body language screaming  **_dontlookatme_ ** , a way of keeping  _ Jules _ safe, so that  _ Sidestep _ could be a hero when he needed to. The way he had hated the press following the Rangers around, how  _ relieved  _ he had been whenever a camera shorted itself out before someone got a picture of him with the mask rolled up. Jules had worked for his privacy, back then.

Ortega doubts it's just that old anxiety now. Sidestep had always been different in the mask, the old black/white/teal of his skinsuit suddenly a stage for Jules to become something loud and bright. Jules was… _different_... in his own clothes, quiet under layers of secondhand workout gear and curly hair combed neat and tidy.  _ Had been different in his own clothes _ .

Now- now it's like he's trying to remember how to do it, how to sit side by side watching old musicals, how to be friends again. How to be  _ together  _ again.

"Movie's almost finished, scoot over." Jules says, shifting up on his knees. He obliges, sliding further down the couch. Jules frowns, and then- settles, laying back.  _ Oh _ . He reaches out, looking at Ricardo with a soft expression on his face. "C'mere." 

This is one of those things that's  _ easier,  _ sometimes _ , _ if Jules is the one to initiate. He moves, lets Jules pull him into his arms. Ric arranges his limbs into something comfortable, propping up on his elbows to look at him. Jules' face is relaxed, like he's letting himself be okay, closing his eyes.  _ Like he's safe _ . Safe enough, anyway. 

He can't get up and pace, not quickly.

- _Jules, dropping Ortega’s hand to jump up and pace the hospital room. Ric watching him go back and forth, the way the younger man seemed to fold himself back up, sitting down, on the verge of tears, angry._ -

This is Jules trusting him, trusting that Ortega will move out of his way if he needs to flee.

"You staying?"

"No," he says, then, hands gentle on Ric's face, eyes still closed, his voice small and soft again, "Not ready to leave, yet."

"Okay." He says, watching Jules' face, those eyelids hiding his dark, dark eyes, the lines around his mouth, the pale scars jutting across the bridge of his nose. The scars are old, but not from his Sidestep days. 

He knows its from Heartbreak, from going through the window, from -- 

Ricardo sighs, and leans up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He settles back, tucks his ear to Jules’ chest, wraps his arms tighter around that waist, just listening to Jules breathe, to the staccato beat of his heart.

Jules doesn't talk, but his chest rumbles as he hums along to the movie's end credits. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone else ever sit too close to the tv as a kid and get yelled at bc you were 'gonna ruin your eyes that way' ?  
> I wrote this scene way before anything else for FH. and while I think in-game (either the game or the alpha for Retribution) there was a reference to 'the silver screen' and how that's what the farm used to train/teach the cuckoo's, I wrote this specifically bc I decided that Jules' favorite musical is singin' in the rain, and that he has a crush on gene kelly's character, and that ortega used to tease him mercilessly about it


End file.
